Glancing Back

From my personal Journal (a little depression, a little humor, a lot of inspiration)

July 9, 2004
"My son is my biggest source of confidence because he makes me want to succeed."

July 30, 2004
"I thought I was this strong, confident young woman and lately I've been noticing that I've been putting up a front to hide all the pain. Who I really am is just a scared shitless little girl; scared of failing, losing, hurting."

"I've been through so much and overcome so many obstacles without someone holding my hand. It's been a lonely journey but it's all I've ever known."

February 16, 2005
"I long for more fulfillment. I long for an unconditional love."

"My mind is crowded with thoughts of trying but not acheving."

July 27, 2005
"I think I'm gonna miss that old jerk. No teacher of mine has ever called me anything other than 'Blotz' and this professor actually called me 'Amador' which is pretty ironic considering the fact I despised that damned bad excuse for public education."

March 27, 2006
"My journals are a mess, just like my life."

"Regularity must be boring because I've always prayed for fun and adventure and this is what I got."

June 1, 2006
"What if my dreams are just unrealistic fantasies?"

"Life can be so discouraging sometimes."

July 9, 2006
"Instead of driving around with the windows down and music blasting or catching rays by the pool with a cocktail, I'm writing speeches and applying Schechner's theories to Medea."

January 1, 2007
"I can't imagine my life without him, yet it might have already begun."

"How did I break my own heart?"

December 2008
"What they don't know is I'm up for the challenge. I can't be faded anymore. You can't weaken a person who has lost herself and found herself again."